I don’t know what it is about this week but there has been an onslaught of peculiar simulator focused news stories. Rock Simulator 2014 was highly publicized earlier this week after being number 69 on Steam Greenlight and being a game where you do nothing but stare at a rock with various backgrounds, literally.
From the mouths of the developers.
“You can watch beautiful rocks in any location in the world. From grass plains to salt flats, there are dozens of hand designed BEAUTIFUL environments.”
With all the press giving attention to this ridiculous concept of a game they made an IndieGogo for $500 which they have already achieved 102% over the target. I don’t see where this money can possibly go except for funding the developers lifestyle but by all means fund something sarcastically.
Hold on to your wallets (no literally this is worse than Rock Simulator). Cow Simulator has also found it’s way onto Steam Greenlight and it is worth noting that this is the only image ‘advertising’ the game.
In case you’re wondering that’s UDK you know the same thing they use to make the Batman games and Gears of War, yeahhh. Now if you’re thinking “finally a game where I can satiate all my cow simulating desires” then you’re insane and/or in need of therapy. Here’s the description from the Greenlight page.
“Cow Simulator is going be the new best game in the world.
This game powered by unreal engine gonna be very funny. You will play the life of a cow in a farm.
You gonna be able to do a lot of things in the life of Gertrude the cow kicking farmes,poop,for 18+ only you will be able to have baby cow
,eat,drink,sleep,die,live, go to paradise or go to hell,be evil or be angel, in this game if you want to eat cookies YOU CAN ! if you want to be afk for 9999999 hours YOU CAN ! for only 5$ yes 5$ you will not be a cow, BUT GOD ! spoil: theres gonna be an easter egg to be a minecraft cow!”
Fortunately it’s obvious that this was made very with sarcasm implied however this is the internet and your sarcasm is useless here so I won’t be surprised when I see this on the front page of Steam some day far too soon.
Also known as Catlateral Damage. The most recent unusual simulator to make the news this week has you playing as a cat that knocks over things. This one has garnered over $40,000 ($44,329 to be exact) on funding on Kickstarter which is a scary amount for a simulator about cats.
Described by the developers as.
“The premier first-person destructive cat simulator. Play as a cooped-up house cat and knock stuff onto the floor!”
The saddest part is out of all these simulators this one is the only one I would consider investing any amount of money into. As an owner of 2 cats it would be an interesting experience to get into the mindset of the feline menaces and learn their true purpose really is to sleep all day and knock stuff off my shelves.
Based on a real life cat ‘Nippy’ who has his primary weapons in the form of two paws.
There is an online playable demo available at the moment if you wish to play Click Here!
WTF game developers?
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