We all know Link as the Hero of all Hyrule kind, savoir of the innocent, wielder of the master sword, so and so forth. But suppose if Ganon decides to take a gap year – to flex his triforce of power arms – how would the hero of time make use of his unique talents and even more importantly, impress Zelda? Well never fear fans of Link, I am here to squash your fears for Link’s imminent unemployment, by offering him a personal career guidance counselor service…. Just don’t skimp on the Rupees, I know he is good for it.
Just a Little off the Top?
Well certainly if there is anything else Link is an expert in besides saving the world, its cutting grass. It’s his main flow of income, and somehow his source for refilling his materials…. Who is dropping all these bombs and arrows in grass anyway? All he needs is his trusty hedge trimmer 2000 (AKA the Master Sword) and space… MAKE SURE he has space using his effective, but unusual technique. The best part of his employment is the fact he doesn’t require the cash first hand! Just throw some Rupees in the shrubs and watch him go to town earning his wage.
This will Look Great Next to all the Others!
Look…I’m not sure what Link’s problem is, but he certainly appears to have a clear obsession for large amounts of empty jars. I hate to consider exactly how many bottles he has obtained over the course of his hero career, in my experience this is a troublesome case of the behavior known as Hoarding. It’s not like he sells the jars after use, exhibiting classic psychological signs the illness. Not to mention the huge grin and emphatic music that clearly manifests in his head once he has another in his obsessive possession. There must be a creepy wardrobe somewhere containing all these jars, I pity the poor souls who stumbles across it.
Hmm… Going To Need More Bug Spray
Have a pest problem? Scared of walking your hallways and dungeons? Giant monsters moved in with unwanted locksmith work done? Never fear! Link the pest exterminator is here! Watch him roll up on his trusty steed and simply point him to the front door. Never mind your drastically elaborate water features or high (lava) temperatures, the best in the business always finds a way! The amount of spiders and other various pests that have met their end by the hero of time and his gadgets number in the hundreds, no matter the size or spirit! In fact, Link even guarantees that…. Well no, he can’t really talk, so he let’s his 100% success rate do the talking!
So I’m Hearing You Say, You’re Angry With Your Father?
Surely this is the aspect of Link that Zelda is so attracted too. Link is literally no back talk and all action. If it’s possible to reply to all your issues with exclamations and sounds, he could make a killing in the psychology department. Just rant and rave all you desire, about every single quibble you have endured in your hard life until your Zora in the face. Link is too much too polite to interrupt you and will have to endure your fables no matter the dullness; however Rupees or a Heart Container should be ready as a reward.
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